Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
