butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
