Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
