My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
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