we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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