i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
