yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
