I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
