Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
no you cant smoke seaweed
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
