Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
