Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
