please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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