How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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