he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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