Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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