You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I didn't notice because vodka
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
