just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
