my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
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She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
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I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.