Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Apple has a Lot to Explain to iPhone X Customers
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
People Asked The Internet Questions About their Private Parts And The Results Are Hilarious
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys