Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
27 Times The Kardashian-Jenner Clan Absolutely Slayed at NYFW
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
19 Doctors Confess The Most Difficult Situation They’ve Ever Had To Face
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.