i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Randomize
