How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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