its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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