if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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