i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So many bounce houses so little time
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
