I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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