i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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