You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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