I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
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I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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