im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
