Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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