she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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