Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
