What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
