I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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