this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
