I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
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just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
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besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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