I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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