Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
