Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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