Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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