and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
