Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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