Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
