I showed him my bush... on skype.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Randomize
