The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize