Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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