I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
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I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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