its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
