and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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