I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
