two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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