return my video game
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
