Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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