I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
