Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
