so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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