New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
