My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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