Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
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