somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Less talking, more tequila
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Randomize
