when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Randomize
