i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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