Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
