I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
